24 Hours in the life of….


As days passed in a haze of pain and misery, not knowing why I was hurting so bad.. and why the Vapors were not working. Coupled with such debilitating nausea and loss of appetite that I rapidly lost 22 lbs before one month was out. I was trying desperately to slow, halt this slide toward starvation…As a total Foodie and passionate cook, not being able to cook/eat was so sad. Cameron came to help out and take me to the store. It had been days since I’d been out. But only a few minutes in the Grocery store I had to leave very nauseous. Sight and smell of food was ‘disgusting’ to me. I asked to hurry home.

Weak and sick, so sick. So much in pain. PLEASE-DEAR-GOD-MAKE-IT-STOP-PLEASE-PLEASE-PLEASE…..crying and snot running down the same time. That’s all I have against the pain. If I take morphine, constipation so severe, same pain.

I had been off the cannabis for 3 days and decided to restart with the original  ‘rice size’. I swear, that only 3+ hours later , pain subsided and I could ‘go’. But, at night, still between the hours of 1-4 A.M I was in Painhell!! I noticed, that this pain was like a ‘rollercoaster’ peaks and valleys. I thought: this is NOT the cancer, this is the COLON trying to PUSH and if it is blocked, then the matter pushes against your stomach, which immediately makes you sicker than a dog! Being nauseous from NOT eating is different. Learn to listen to your body. The cycle continues IF there’s no relief. In the pain category,

I would judge this way: 1. Kidney stones, 2.Bowel obstruction, 3. Childbirth. (I’ve had all 3.)  Bowel and Birth pain is about the same with ONE HUGE difference: After labor pains you get a lovely, little baby and then it’s over.  With bowel obstruction, all you may end up with is a bag that doesn’t match anything you have.

As lay helplessly weeping and hiccupping, Cameron came to sit with me, talk and hug me.

Then I learned these small but oh so important improvements.

First: I manage the pain throughout with smaller portion but more times. Right now, I take this times 4, so it covers me DURING the spasm time. Then, I take some ‘vapors’ against the NAUSEA. I’ve cooked a strong beef-bone stock and this is what I divided into 2 batches. I take 1/2 cup of hot stock and the warmth that I feel going down, is priceless. The instant relief one gets is miraculous. So. Now I could start to eat. (Cameron did not inherit any cooking genes.) When I woke in the morning without ANY pain nor NAUSEA, I sank to my knees, just overwhelmed with blessed, heavenly relief.

BRAEKFAST: 1/2 cup stock. 1/8th Melon, a few vapor puffs, wait 10 min then 1/2 sandwich.  ( A few vapor puffs, wait, then LUNCH: 1/8 of Melon, 1/2 bowl of Spaghetti with only a little garlic taste and butter, plus 1 German Hamburger. Later: Tea with 1/2 slice bread.

DINNER: Left over Spaghetti, same way with 1 more hamburger.

I have learned to PUREE my food so it will NOT become a harsh mass. BE kind to your colon and learn to eat ‘different’. Your brain only knows ‘what was’. That’s why we want to ‘sit down with the family and eat a nice dinner.’ Well, of course you can sit down with them BUT you cannot EAT like them. We now have a new way of eating. Small portions, pureed so I can have (organic) meat-protein as I’m not allowed much Vitamin K. (Blood clots from chemo). When my friend Silke took me to CT scan and then out to Lunch, I’d asked to have this great soup ‘pureed’ and they are more than glad to do this.

To fight cancer successfully, you should really RESEARCH well. Go to: www.phoenixtears.ca learn how to make it. http://phoenixtears.ca/videolibrary  THIS IS NOT IN A DISPENSARY. You have to find someone to make it. IF it is NOT high in THC content and it’s not been decarboxylated FULLY— then it is NOT Rick Simpson’s oil (RSO). Suggested is 95-98% of INDICA strain .( SATIVA is what is used more for brain matters such as Epilepsy, Alzheimers.)

The latest link is from a Swiss clinic, which reports marvelous successes. When you click on link, there are little Flags which depict language uses.


Friends have asked, how much do you take? Well, it is different for everybody. That’s why you start so small. But, rule of thumb: If you ‘poop’ like an elephant, it’s too much, if it’s like a Hummingbird, not enough. (That’s one of the ‘side effects. Great, huh? FOR US it is. I have managed to get it nearly right after 3 mos of hit and miss.

Still waiting on CT scan results. SOO many desperate phone calls and messages. SOOO many people in PAIN. SOOO many ignorant people.  Be at least open minded. Research. You may just save your or your child’s life. There has been an Exodus to Colorado by parents who bring their very sick children to have this PLANT medicine. NO one should be denied to help themselves and their child.  I had to make a decision, when Chemo was in-effective, I remembered this quote: When you are on the edge of a cliff and there’s no way out, you better grow wings OR take a LEAP of faith. This is what I did.


48 harrowing hours

I am astounded that I am still here. I am not exaggerating. The whole past months I was continuing with cannabis, I was in so much pain that I was just an exhausted, weeping mess. Every night, between 1:00 and 4:00 A.M I woke up with great abdominal pain. I would try to take 1/2 Ibuprofen, with a half of Tramadol. Might as well spit into the wind. I would put heating on it, I would fix tea, etc. I twist and turn and I could not sleep. Could not figure out why MJ was not helping much.

The next thing that happened was as I was on the couch and my abdomen was extented and I had ‘gained’ 17 lbs starting chemo. I kept telling the nurse, I don’t know why I gain  as I can hardly eat and have to have Marijuana vapors just to get a few bites in. Well, December 29th, the day when this ‘hard knot seemed to ‘snap, break, sharp pull, etc. I nearly blacked out with pain. Some time after I had the urge to use the bathroom. Seemed like an elephant got there first.  I had lost 16 lbs in 2 days. I am holding my ‘old’ weight even though appetite is still a problem.

The way  I am dealing with food is different now. It occured to me that we always expect to sit down and eat our plate. When you’re nauseous that way too much food to look at. So, I wouldn’t eat. BUT you HAVE to eat. Then I had the idea to minimize. I am using my small, tiny prep bowls and would put 3 grapes in one, 2 apple slices in the next, banana, etc. In between, I would use my MJ vapors to produce appetite long enough so I can eat a few bites but I ate throughout the day. I’ve become addicted to Wendy’s Chili. When I can’t cook, that’s is great to have.

The other worrisome change that happened was my mental agility. I felt as if there was a  steel band around my head. Pressure. I would talk to my friends and after every 5 seconds I would ask, ‘what was I talking about? Where am I going with this? It made my friends pay excellent attention as they had to remember.  NAUSEA. NAUSEA. That was my companion all day. I just did not know why. Then came: Depression, anxiety, paranoia, nausea, loss of appetite,  I was getting scared as I felt I am falling into an unknown hole. But by being unable to eat, I was nauseous because I had no food. Terrible catch 22. Since I was already up, I researched Rick Simpson again. I had always used the You Tube video info. I knew that one cannot overdose on Marijuana. You may get really sick, they said, like bad drunk but you will not die as one  would with alcohol. I am the living proof.

There were the ‘Side Effects listed, if you take too much stuff. I had overdosed regularily for 2 months. All of the symptoms that are listed  further up are the ones. My goodness. Trying so hard to save my life- may kill me! But from chemicals NOT MJ. I stopped right away to hydrate and try and flush it out. But I was so nauseous. VERY surprising, I had absolutely no withdrawal or anything like one would with some REAL BAD drug. Not addictive UNLESS you decide. When I’m well, then I’m done stuff!

Doctor exams, all well. They said not to try to diagnose myself. I said, well, I’m sorry but I had NOT HAD the best of luck with proper diagnoses. Besides, that’s what we do. When things are not really helping, you just want to do it to get it done. Just want the pain to stop. Just that tiny bit of ‘mental problem’ the weeping, etc. is so very painful (even if it is not you) that ‘anything’ would do to ram it in there to STOP.

My blood pressure , three hours later when I saw doc, was still 190/95. She said, she could not believe that I did not have a stroke. Also, the horrible, horrid abdomina pain was an “bowel obstruction’, which is fairly common with chemo. (Also, chemo injures the colon. A woman from my support group, died because most of her colon had become thin as paper and then broke when fecal matter moved through. Because I had been regular I did not know.

CA 125 cancer marker numbers were UP but not much. Doc said, what with all that trauma of colon and nausea and a new Lab may be responsible. I am NOT starting another chemo. My colon is trying to repair itself. I did say again, that I did NOT think that this was the ‘Cancer’ . Maintaining that 1/2 of an Ibuprofen would not help managing cancer. Besides, it would also be painful during other hours. (Oh, excuse me. I just ‘diagnosed’ again.  :-)I think it’s healthy LOGIC. I’ll just keep it to myself. Tuesday CT scan to see ‘inside’. At the cancer center I was so manic and wired, that I had to ‘suck’ on my vapors to get rid of feeling. The problem was, that there was too much SATIVA in it. This works on your mental receptors. That’s why they are using it on Alzheimer patients now. INDICA is the one for cancer and many other illnesses. It is usually mixed because Indica seeds are very hard to come by and GOVERNMENT does NOT allow the cultivation. So, we have a ‘lower’ quality. I suppose, Gov wants to make money too.

A friends’ 95 year old mother is on this for Alzheimer’s and doing pretty well. (She still has Alzheimers but not so severe and has bright times.

While I was gone, my sweet friend cleaned the whole house! Vacuumed. Had taken the morning off to give me this gift. THIS IS WHAT WE NEED. Someone to help. When I walked in, I cried. She also came after work to stay with me until my other friends came. They had gone out for their anniversary dinner. (My friend texted if it was possible t come, not knowing. ) I will cook you a 5* menu when I’m better to make it up. Love you guys.

Also had to get back on Warfarin because ‘those numbers’ were too low. 

Trying to get cannabis after my son left for a little time off, turned out to be a very stressful circus. It has become harder and harder for me to get this ‘paste’ down, even with aplesauce. My gag reflex is the best working thing in my body.  I was anxiously awaiting my appointment for blood work to see new results. Also had appointment with my ‘old’ Oncology surgeon who gave a big hug and smile. I had wanted a CT scan to see if the tumors had less or more activity. I mean, I had 2 hours between appointments and I didn’t want to make an extra trip.  Not till Tues.

The night before my appointments, I was not feeling well. But, as usual since there is nothing  else I can do, I used my homespun tricks. Finally, I got up at 1:28 A.M to take a hot bath with epsom salt, which always helps. I ran the water into the tub, added salt and could hardly wait to go into that wonderful warmth. I figured since I’m already here, I might as well shave my legs, now that’s it’s growing agin. Suddenly I was overcome with a nausea so severe that I thought this is BAD..black spots in front of my eyes and I could hardly breath. I propelled myself out over the rim of that high, old tub, as I was afraid of ‘blacking out’ and drowning. There I was. The skin of my whole body was Lobster red. Never experienced anything like it. I looked over to the tub and all I said was, ‘well, that won’t do.’ I crawled to the bedroom because I was shaking uncontrollably and felt like fainting. I need  HELP I thought. I called my good friend Bonnie. There are REALLY friends you can call at that time. She drove right over. She stayed with me until my other friend Berle, came to take me to Grand Junction. As we were sitting there, talking, I remembered suddenly a sentence in a conversation that I had with a nurse friend, right after the blood clot incident. I was telling her about my tub/salt preference. She looked at me funny and said: YOU CAN’T TAKE A HOT BATH WHEN YOU ARE ON CUMADIN! WARFARIN!! I had a severe reaction and nearly had a stroke. That’s what that bright lobster red was. I had taken the pill the evening before.

Some people received wealth, Beauty, talent at the time of their births. I? I received 9 Lives. THANK GOD!

This is for my support group “TEAL Warriors:

Dear friends. I’m using this way to answer requested info.

Marijuana is the plant.  Cannabis as a product, divided into INDICA and SATIVA  (many otherstrains and combinationa.) ONE product dowes not work on everything. It’s like cooking. Let’s sa, recipe calls for Parsley and Dill , they go well together but if you add some curry that’s not good. The right strain for the ‘right’ illness. You need the TEARS of PHOENIX model, not just ‘some oil. I can’t afford Rick Simpson’s oil as it is %4000.00 for 3 mos. Still WAY cheaper than chemo but WE have to pay this. I needed an EXTRA $1200 per month to buy my cannbis. My son thinks, that these prices were before it became legal in a few states.

My son gave me the Link to a Foundation to help financing the treatment. I can’t access the link right now but I will later.

You remember how you start? a small rice-grain size with European butter to take it. The higher fat content will intensify the healing properties. What cannabis does, is to instruct the cancer cells to committ suicide without harming surrounding cells. This could have been the reason that my first month on it, the numbers were lower.

Tears of Phoenix is NOT like cooking OIL. It’s a dark, dense PASTE. You take it x3 a day. Also supplement with Tinctures, Vapors and WEW. (What ever works.)

Victoria, and all of you precious friends try to get this. I cannot promise ‘it’ will do exactly the same with you guys. Everyone is different. The break through from blocked bowels was the prolonged (2.5 mos) use of cannabis. The properties of the LEAF PLANT had worked it’s way through, THANK GOD. After that, the terrible pain was gone, the nausea dissipated. Oh MAN, I can take a deep breath without thinking I’m throwing up. Just the next day, I’ve eaten more than the other 3 days combined.

Research : Rick Simpson but this time NOT on You Tube. There’s a new web site full of GREAT info, testimonials. Go to www.marijuanadoctor.com  If you need more info, CALL> xxxooo