‘Couchsurfing’ – Travel the world- explore your city and host new friends. Couchsurfing is the world’s largest travel community.
Well now. My couchsurfing has been everything BUT that. I am counting now 16 days, on this rust-terra cotta colored couch. It’s a nice one really. It has big, fluffy back cushions and seats are comfortable. It also sports a Queen size bed. The fabric is micro-suede. Easy to clean, should there be spots.
My day starts early in the morning, since this is when I wake up (thank God.) I take my Levothyroxin and read another 20 minutes so the pill can work. Then, I go and brew my ONE cup of coffee. It’s nearly a ritual. NO automatic drip pot for me. I boil my water, add 3 scoops of (German mild, non acidic) coffee, a few salt crystals and a ‘breath’ of cocoa. I heat my cup, so the coffee won’t be luke warm when it hits the cup. Just a dash of half and half. That first swallow is sooo good.
See? How much my life has shrunk? Not much happening when you lay on the couch. I bought a big pillow to rest my leg on, which is encased in Ted-hose. Those white stocking that prevent new blood clots from forming.
I can’t stand long, well, not even short time. So, most mornings, I eat Oatmeal or cereal with coconut milk. I try to get dressed, which is not easy to lift that leg to fit into pants. It still seems to weigh 50 lbs. It is still swollen and very tight, and that is the source of the pain.
Now, that I spend those first few minutes on whining, I will also talk about the good things happening. My friends come with food. (I’ve eaten more Kentucky fried chicken the last two weeks, than I have the last 10 years!) But, that’s what my chemo brain wants.
I get home made chicken, potatoe and other soups. I had my favorite Mike come, with family and bring ribs. (Do you all remember that I had NOT eaten meat in nearly 3 years??) Right now, it’s all by the way side. No juicing. Not many salads nor veggies. Chemo has changed my taste buds and I have very little appetite. I still have to have MJ vapors to get ‘hungry’.
I watch T.V. and can’t believe all that mindless crap that’s on. I have read and re-read books. My family calls from Germany and friends and relatives call, so that takes up some time. I watch German T.V. which is some better because it’s not all about killing, blowing up stuff, etc. Sometimes, I wish people had a little more time to spend with me. Like, the length of a movie. But, I am grateful I have so much help and support. My friend Berle is a champion. She cooks and does the vaccuming like a little dynamo. She shops and puts it away and spends time. People do what they can. I am rich beyond measure. My friend Marie came while I was getting chemo and she cleaned house, put fresh, beautiful flowers on the tables and I was so touched and emotional when I came home. My friend Peggie made a late Spaghetti run because my taste buds wouldn’t accept other food.
I never did get Home Health because they don’t ‘help’ . They will give medication, help with bathing but not food or a little cleaning. I only take 1 pill and can bathe, so this is not for me, even though Medicare would pay 100%. But just because I CAN, I won’t squander resources. I thought, they would be the same as in Germany. My dad, brother, cousin all had Home Health and it’s a very efficient, good help with everything. A new, lovely friend is Michelle M. Lives and works in Saudi Arabia. Beautiful, eloquent and so tender hearted. My personal cheerleader.
I want to thank my other friends, who donated money to reduce some of the medical cost. It’s a bit humbling but I so appreciate it.
The other ones are my TEAL sisters. My Ovarian cancer support group. Great ladies. Each batteling her own, tough fight but they’re always there. Supportive. Non Judgmental.
No one has looked at my leg. They say, ‘just keep taking your Warfarin and we’ll see you in 2 weeks.’
I WAS going to go out but a short trip through the kitchen and looking out the window… I see SNOW!! Dang it. My apricot tree blossoms froze and we’re not sure about the other things I had planted last fall. This is a LONG, cold winter. I am ready to put my toes into some turquoise, mild ocean water. But, that will remain a Fantasy. Bills are coming by the droves and just to tell you: ONE chemo is nearly $5000.00 I have had 9 so far. This is why cancer won’t be ‘cured’ that fast. It is such a money maker.
Just reading this, shows what a boring life it is, right now. I only complained the first week and was very depressed. Mainly, because I did not know what the matter was and have never had anything like that. After that hard week, I decided that I would change my attitude as this would be more beneficial to my mental well being.
I fervently hope, that by next week I can walk. Just normal steps. Nothing huge. Sending out hugs and a heart full of gratitude.