I drove to Grand Junction myself, the other day for my appointment with Oncologist/GYN/Surgeon. (I had been there just two days prior for a CT scan. )This was, after all, ‘number Two’. This was the one, I had meant to see when Dr. Giggles insisted that I go to Denver, ‘because Dr. D. was ‘number one’.
We all know how that worked out and ended. Wasn’t too impressed by number ‘one’.
So, I was a bit curious how I would find this good doctor? Would she be brusk? Unfriendly? Arrogant? I sat in the treatment room and nurse did the vitals. Bloodpressure up a but it seems to match the surroundings.
After that, I sat there and waited. Nothing so boring as to sit and wait. Not even a magazine in there. My cell phone didn’t work in that little room. I took my checkbook out and tallied the sums. Not very exciting nor fun. Noticed how much I spend on medical bills and holistic stuff. I just heaved a sigh and put it behind me. Light knock on the door and in came Dr. ‘Two”. Nice smile, handshake. Then we discussed the lengthy tirade of my futile visits so far.
She examined me, then told me that she could not tell the source of the pain. There are many choices. But the CT scan was alright. No changes. No new growths, or movement from the old one. THAT is good news.
Here are my options: Try to manage pain ( not an option because it’s not managed.) Or: have a laparoscopy, go in, look and see’ then discuss further steps. (WHAT??? Go in twice? No. No.) third: Make a larger cut, so she can get her hand in (too much information!) to feel around. She said, they really can’t ‘see’ much therefor have to also ‘feel’. She wants to remove the cluster of small lymphnodes. They are no problem at the present but could be. Then, take out that piece they placed there over 10 years ago, for the adhesions to grow onto. (Should have been taken out and exchanged for a newer one, years ago. Maybe that’s the culprit??)
She will then place a new material in the abdominal cavity, the material being similar to ‘Saran Wrap’ so adhesions can’t form. We will NOT touch the ‘errant lymphnode’ which is too overgrown with veines and blood tissue.
Surgery would take under two hours and I’d have to stay there 2-3 days.
So. Our number TWO doctor has no such hesitations to help me, as did doctor number One in Denver, or my GYN here, or, even worse Dr. Giggles with his arsenal of chemo.
I like her and I absolutely trust her to do her best for me. Finally. Someone to help alleviate this horrid pain. She asked me to think about it and then let her know. I was already pretty sure when I left, that I would do this surgery. She also assured me that we’re not doing chemo until ‘absolutely’ necessary. That was balm to my fearful soul.
I met with Carrie and Laurel, Gracie and a couple of their friends for lunch. Fun to have young, vibrant people around.
When I came home, I called Cameron to discuss these new options. He said they sounded good to him, too. He offered to come out again as well but I can’t ask so much for just a few days. Besides, sometimes we need a woman to do ‘womanly’ things.
Friday morning, I called Angela, her nurse and said I’m ready to set the date for ‘redecoration of the pelvis.’ She laughed and we settled on the 24th, July.
Now, that this is settled, once I have passed the unpleasantness of waking up right after, which is always so bad as the pain hits severely before they can give you anything. I remember this from every other surgery I’ve had but yet, this is not enough to deterr me.
Now, I’m setting up the friend rotation schedule, for after when I’m released. I so wish my daugher could’ve come to help me physically (she helps with the writing of my story with her brother) but with the children and no money for the trip, it’s not possible. Cameron can’t come this time as he has to move. But, I think it’ll only be for a couple of days. Friends have offered right away to stay the night. Even from far away, like Boulder, my friend Rebecca has offered. Many, many well wishers and so much kindness.
Of course, sneaking into my brain are the thoughts that I usually have before any surgery. That very thought that woke me, early this morning before even the birds were up. I sure hope I will wake up. What if I don’t?? Well, I wouldn’t know about it but the (even remote) possibility makes me sad with missing my children, grand kids and friends already. And then, there’s my little buddy.
I better push all that out of the way and concentrate instead on my trip this fall. I’ve seen some pictures of ‘Meteora’ and ‘Valley of the fog’, in Greece. I really, really would like to go there. But, I speak no Greek, ‘that’s Greek to me,’ ha (even less than Spanish!) So. I better stick with Austria. Just the thought that I could plan and actually go gives me new vigor. A very nice Facebook friend, from Austria, who’s a singer- (You Tube-Peter Martell) wrote the nicest comment. He told me that when he recorded ‘Amazing Grace’ he was thingking of me and praying that I’d find relief soon and asked the Lord to listen. Touched me to tears. Also said, when I come to Austria, he and his lady friend would sure show me around and help me find reasonably priced rooms.
It seems a long time now, since I’ve started this ‘cancer-health-journey, to now. I told my friends how grateful I am for their loving, never wavering support. For listening to my woes and tirades. For coming and helping, no matter how big or little the problem. In this, especially my ‘favorite Mike’. My son, who took a big chunk out of his life and time, to come and help me find treatment. My friends, Monika and Inge, who always take me for tests. Others who bring food, laughter warmth. Strangers, who, after reading the blog have called or written e-mails with suggestions and links to doctors and or Naturopathics. Others, who have become new friends and presented me with a Pedicure. Others again, bring vegetables, soup, cage free eggs etc. Or, bring the dogs when I had a particular low day, to cheer me up.
(I’d written an e-mail to recommended Naturopathic doctor in New York but have never received an answer). Never again heard from that woman Dr. in Boulder. That 15 min phone call cost me $75.00.
So. Next week, I will pack my bag. (They have T.V. computers in the room). I can wear my own PJ’s. Hopefully, this will be my last surgery. I sure would like to have a few years without pain or some other health problem. As long as the cancer behaves, I’m good to go. I will write after surgery, as soon as I’m able.
Thank you all. Hugs all around.
Oh, I want to mention that it rained yesterday. A true ‘Gully-washer’. Everything looks brigher, greener and grass is finally green and not brown. Birds are singing and the scent of fresh washed air is coming in through the open windows, carried by a light breeze. Great Sunday morning. Thank you GOD.