Calling Dr. House.

When the TV series ‘House’ started, I watched each week, applauding the cleverness of this Diagnostician and super medical strategist. But after awhile his rude behavior got on my nerves and I stopped. Of course, there was a reason for this behavior. I remember he had a medical condition that caused severe pain.

NOW I understand what it must be like for someone who is in constant pain. How it eats away all the good feelings and joy. As well as appetite.

It took a few days for the dismissive way the Urologist handled the visit, to sink in. He had insisted on a bladder scope ‘to rule it out’. I’d told him, there’s nothing wrong with my bladder. Another test, that was not necessary. He gave me a precribtion for PT! Yes. Physical Therapy. I looked at it, then him and said ‘what?’ I can barely function due to this pain and I should do therapy???WTH?  I may need a laparoscopy to figure out the cause. My oncologist is firm with her statment that this is NOT cancer related.

I am just sick of the whole thing.

My friend Lori, who works at Organic Grocers recommended a natural treatment. It’s for kidney health. Uva Ursi. Not to be taken longer than 2 weeks. So, I’m trying this right now. On Wednesday I’m going back to have acupuncture as well as the herb he had special ordered. Of course, there’s a lot of advice from friends. Try Asparagus. Try this tea. Try this herb….I am my own guinea pig.

Can’t concentrate on what to do and a new plan against cancer as I have to put this ‘fire out’ first. Yesterday, was a bad day. I am fighting against falling into depression. I believe that when I take morphine, it ascerbates this feeling.

I feel shut in. No real plans, since this is really holding me back. Can’t travel this way. Going to bed with pain, getting up with pain.

I still walk, some.  When I think, that just a few months ago I was walking 8-10 hours a day and now, barely get 35-45 minutes in, I am really sad.  Two years of medical dealings is now taking its toll. Can’t get my ‘oommmph’ back. How can anything keep hurting like this? Sharp pain. Am I whining now? Yes. Do I feel sorry for myself? Just for a little bit, at least until the pill is working. I want to say, stop! I don’t want to play anymore. I don’t like this game. I am tired.

Mainly what I need is a good doctor. Gosh, remember Dr. Welby? He made house calls. I’ve tried the ‘Symptom’ checker online. But there are too many possibilities so there’s no answer to be found.

If any of you know a good doctor, do let me know. I’m almost out of ideas.



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One thought on “Calling Dr. House.

  1. Inge,

    As I read I keep shaking my head and saying yes…yes…yes…I understand and know exactly how you feel. A friend recently said it seems that people who are chronically ill and in pain are zapped of patience. I very gently said ” yes we do loose patience with people who take their lives for granted when we fight every single day to choose joy even in constant pain” so excuse me if I may get a little cranky!

    So I say to you this, it is ok to be upset and please take that morphine for some relief. You do not have to be in pain to prove anything. You my second mama have zero to prove! I know for a fact you didn’t pack a toothbrush!!!

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